


Spider jambalaya

by FiredUberDriver



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Writing, Crack, First Date, Food Kink, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiredUberDriver/pseuds/FiredUberDriver
Summary: Alastor enjoy's his mother's jambalaya and even claims it's his favorite...but what happens when a certain eight legged homo begs to differ?
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Spider jambalaya

**Author's Note:**

> what if i told you this was actually a crackfic

Alastor hummed to 1930's music as he strolled along hell boulevard. He was dressed in his usual attire, although he was on his way to attending a very special date. He didn't know how or why, but somehow Angel dust managed to convince the radio demon himself to attend dinner with him. Whilst he made way to the restaurant, he heard a ding like sound coming from his pants. "Ah _, it must be the cellular device!"_ Alastor thought as he reached into his pocket to grab his cellphone. He unlocked the phone: it was a text form Angel dust. _"Al, baby. Change of plans...come meet me at my place."_ The text message read.

Alastor would be lying if he said he wasn't a little pissed, but he shrugged it off. _"Of course Angel couldn't keep it in his pants."_ He thought. Although, he smiled nonetheless and turned his direction back to the hotel. After a while had passed, Alastor barged into the hotel as if he owned the place. "Oh, Angel~ I'm here!" Alastor cheerfully said. He noticed the lights were dimmer than usual. _"Must've forgotten to pay the electric bill..."_ Alastor thought as he scanned the room. Suddenly he saw charlie, but since this isn't a chalastor fic- he didn't flirt with her. "Al!" She gasped and quickly ran out of sight. Suddenly the lights completely went out and Alastor could only make out a few whispers before it went completely silent.

Although, bright lights soon came on and what laid in front of him was a table for two and an abnormally big cloche hat covering what you could assume would be the meal. Charlie; dressed as a waitress, took off the plate's lid and reveals what appeared to be a completely nude Angel dust. "Bon appetitty, baby." He said with a wink as he pushed his fluffy chest up. He was soaked in the juices of the Jambalaya and even had a piece of chicken between his man boobs. "Holy Mary mother of god, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, amen!" Alastor screamed, hoping to ascend to the heavens from his one prayer. Al was _traumatised,_ fainting as a result. "Angel, I don't think this is gonna work." Charlie said.

"Whaaaat. Pffft. Just give him a sec, he'll come around. They always do~" Angel purred as he continued to toss and turn in a pool of jambalaya. Meanwhile, Vaggie looked like she wanted to end her life. _"Why does Charlie always give in to people like this..."_ She thought. Charlie noticed her girlfriend's discomfort and took her hand. "Look, Angel. It was nice helping you...but uh Vaggie and I are gonna go. Good luck trying to win over, Al!" She said as the two exited the door. "But how am I gonna get out of this tub!" Angel dust shouted, but the door was already shut. Angel dust sighed. All he wanted to do was seduce his crush, yet his efforts never work. 

"Nghh..." A sudden groan was heard. Angel perked his head up and noticed Alastor began to regain consciousness. "Mother..." Alastor mumbled as he smelt the jambalaya. Angel dust laughed, now this was entertaining. Alastor had a certain look of innocence on his face, he seemed _different._ He walked over to Angel dust who was still butt ass naked. "Y'know my mother made the best jambalaya..." Alastor said, reminiscent of his past life's memories. Angel dust smirked as an idea popped into his head. "But have you tried spider jambalaya?" Angel dust cooed as he spread his legs. 

It was a tease of a sight, and nothing but a chicken was covering that cock a doodle do. "Oh?" Alastor said, cocking a brow. "Implying that your spider jambalaya is better than my dear mother's, are we?" He asked, licking his lips. "I mean... you never know until you try, right?" Angel dust said. "Hmm, I'd normally never say this, but I suppose your right!" Alastor agreed, leaning into Angel. "Start with the chicken..." Angel dust lustfully said, pointing towards the chicken in between his legs. "No, I don't think I will!" Alastor laughed. "I'm a man who makes my own decisions." Alastor began, dipping his head awfully close to Angel's crotch. "Therefore!" He said as he sunk his teeth into angel's inner thigh.

"AHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK!" Angel dust shouted, kicking Al off of him. "I thought this was supposed to be a vorefic?" Alastor said, looking geniunely confused. "NO!" Angel dust shouted, as he rubbed his wounded thigh. "Oh." Alastor simply responded. "Well I better make a bee and buzz off then!" 

**Author's Note:**

> arachnids, am i right?


End file.
